Friday, October 3, 2008

Biter On First

We've all had moments when we could swear someone said something exactly the way we thought we heard it. Turns out, that's not what they said at all. I had a moment like that recently.

I went to get my teeth cleaned at a new dentist office. The hygienist was looking over my personal information and chart.

Her: So you live in the country?

Me: Yes.

Her: It’s nice there. I love the pumpkin patch.

Me: Oh, ya. I love that. (Can’t tear me away from the pumpkin patch!)

She pauses…scanning my chart.

Her: Hmm…I see here that you’re a biter?

Me: Yes.

(I clench my teeth every night.)

Her: That’s greeeaaaat.

Me: (Whaaaat?) Not really.

Her: Why -- you don’t like it?

Me: No. (And why would I like it?) It gives me headaches. I think I do it because I'm stressed.

Her: You do it from home?

Me: When I’m asleep mostly. Sometimes when I’m awake and don’t realize I’m doing it.

Her: In your sleep? How do you do that?

Me: I just bite down like this.

(I demonstrate the nightly bite)

Her: You do that when you’re writing?

Me: What? You asked me if I was a biter.

Her: No, I said, "writer."

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